Friends

In the elevator down to the basement where I work, the thought jumped into my head that maybe I should see out a counselor.  I had an excellent one in Sarasota – I really liked her – and think maybe I should look for one up here.  Why, you may ask.

I was thinking about that, though I have many friends, I really don’t have anyone I can talk to.  I mean really talk to.  Someone who listens without judgment, without indignation, without platitudes, and without judgment.

Sometimes a trained professional asking me the right questions to trigger the answer that I already know but can’t seem to put my finger on, is so very helpful.  I value that.

A counselor does that – they ask who, what, why, when, where, how of the situation and gives leading questions that help me organize my thoughts and the situation.  You may be wondering why I can’t do it on my own since I know the questions.

The answer is simple really.  When you are in the middle of something – it doesn’t have to be a crisis – you are so focused on one thing that you can’t see the bigger picture.  You might think you can but once you start trying to put it all together, it just seems to not fit right.  Some people – and I know a few – see things more black and white so they don’t have trouble with the gray.

My coworker thinks I think too much – that I am always analyzing rather than just accepting that life is as it is and float along with the rest of the world.   I am a laid back person when it comes to my interaction with others – exceptions are road rage and those who hurt others.

But I take a lot to heart too.  Things friends and family say that really hurt my feelings bother me and I wrestle with the correct response.   My motto is if the response will cause them anger or pain then it is better to say nothing.  Like any motto, I try to live by it but have slipped more than once.

I like someone who is detached from every situation who can help me answer the questions and see the options I have.  My niece is a counselor and I’m sure she could explain this so much better than I can.  I’m going to have to ask her for her clinical view on why people without major problems or crisis still want to see counselors.

The thing is, and I have heard my sister say the same thing, none of my friends or family really know the deep dark “me” – a counselor is paid to get to know that part of myself and help me make sense of it.  Does that make sense?

After reading this post, do you not see why I should seek out a counselor? It is about as organized and insightful as trying to analyze mud.  LOL