Fracture

I have been watching the movie Fracture again with Anthony Hopkins – man he does a great job being the bad guy.

As I checked out his beautiful house I felt myself kind of frown.  What woman in their right mind would cheat on a man who provided her with such a beautiful home? The gardens, the pool, the entire place is gorgeous! I know that is superficial and I’d be the first friend to advise someone to leave a husband who was cold or dismissive.  But man, that house is gorgeous!  Oh, did I say that already?

Someday I would love to have a beautiful home like that – seriously.  I have seen homes in FL that are absolutely wonderful and while I don’t want to live there – maybe there are beautiful homes in Hawaii too if that is where my son wants to live.

Really don’t know.  I would love to have a house like the one in this movie though. 

Sleeping A Lot

My three days off have been mostly spent sleeping.  Granted I hadn’t slept well lately so felt very tired but even so, I slept more than I should have.  Yesterday I even found myself thinking that I must be in the clutches of minor depression to be sleeping all the time.  It is one of the things I do when I’m down – shut my eyes and live in my dream world for awhile.

While I wouldn’t say I have been feeling depressed – I know my symptoms well enough to see that it is heading that way if I don’t take steps now to avert it.  It is hard to force oneself to do things though when all they want to do is hide from the world.

Yesterday I forced myself to go for a 2 mile walk and that helped for a couple of hours.  Tonight I made myself go on another one even though it was after 11pm because I hoped the cool night air would help again and it did.

I must say though, I could crawl into bed right now and be asleep within minutes but I have chores to do that I should have done earlier today.  Obviously I can’t vacuum this late so I’ll get it out to remind myself to do it first thing in the morning.  Tonight I’m going to clean the kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom.  A bed frame fell from the sky so I need to get my bed on it.  Really someone moved and put it out at the dumpster but it is in excellent condition and fits my bed so couldn’t ask for anything more.

Earlier I watched Stephen King’s “It” which is 3 hours and 13 minutes long.  I enjoy it right up until the end which I have always thought was a bit cheesy and beneath King.  I get the hankering to watch it about once every decade or so – I don’t know why.

Think I will put The Shining on now to keep me company as I clean.    I feel much better emotionally than I have felt on any of my days off…kind of a drag since I have to work tonight but good too in that I don’t want to be feeling down at work when I know we will be so very busy.

One of my friends in Florida just found out her mother has stage four ovarian cancer that is inoperable.  They are going to start her on chemo right away in hopes of combating it that way.  I feel for my friend who is the exact age I was when my mother died of cancer.  It is so devastating to lose your mother so young.  Hopefully she will be spared that agony and pain.  My prayers are with her.

Wednesday

Today has been a “catch up on sleep” day because I haven’t felt like doing much else other than that.  I did a spot of cleaning and cooked a roast for supper but otherwise, I’ve been working on my writing.

Am quite gleeful because I found my manuscript changes which I thought I had lost.  Thankfully I had had the good sense to email them to me at yahoo so it was sitting in there waiting for me.  Took me a few hours to find it but I did.  About made me weep with happiness.

So I’ve been printing it out and reading it so I can work on it some more.  It is very close to being done though then it will have to be edited which will take awhile.  Once the editing is done, the corrections will have to be applied and the whole thing will have to be printed again before it can go to the publishers.  I’m thinking I will let Kinko’s or somewhere like that do the final printing and copies.    Then off to the publishers and literary agents.  Very exciting.

Reading “The Shining” is also stirring up ideas of my own for a “haunting” story so might start on that too.  I don’t know how writers find the time to finish one book if they have so many going.  Stephen King said in his hay-day he would write 3,000 words a day.  In 2001 he said he writes closer to 1800 a day – wonder how many he writes now.

I know I am no where near 1800 a day let alone 3000 but I suppose if I get motivated more I could do more.  Also if I didn’t have interruptions and have to actually work a regular job.

I have no grand illusions here – I don’t expect my books to hit the New York Times Best Seller’s list – but I do hope that they glean a moderate fan base to keep me writing.  Someday – hopefully by the time I’m fifty, I would like to be done working the regular job and be writing full time.

I am slowly marrying the idea of buying an RV so that I can travel and write once I’m retired from the general work force.  It would really be awesome. 

I suppose after a few years I would get sick of it and settle down but at least if I traveled the entire US, I would know where I wanted to settle down to. 

Maybe it is a “pie in the sky” dream but hey, its my dream so as long as it is a coconut cream pie in the sky, I will continue to work towards getting to it. 

Just Thinking

I’ve been thinking today about getting rid of cable tv.  I would keep the internet.  It isn’t an issue of money really but more that I would like to not have those things clouding my life.  Hours in front of the tv are completely wasted and that bothers me.  I keep talking about how I’d like to simplify my life and live more like the people back in the old days.

Granted, internet is a “new” days kind of thing but I need  that to keep in touch with people and to pay my bills.  The cable is $60+ a month and for what? Bland entertainment that I don’t even really enjoy while I’m watching it.

Besides the cable tv, I am thinking I should get a bike and then start riding to work on Saturdays and Sundays to save gas, get exercise, and be outdoors.  I have a bike picked out at Walmart but won’t buy it till next month.  I know I wrote about the bike already on the other blog.

I’m going through my day to day life looking at other things that I could cut out to make life more simplistic – I’m looking to cut the fat, so to speak.  It is an intriguing idea that has been blossoming in my mind all day.

It would be rather awesome to start reading and writing more!

Wise and Foolish Builders

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the roack.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall because it had its foundation on the rock.  But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house and it fell with a great crash.  Matthew 7:24-27

When I read this passage, I think about the hurricanes of Florida.  The wind and the rains beat down so badly that many houses could not withstand their force.  Those winds were phenominal to watch from the comfort of my home – I was thankful my house was built of concrete that was for sure.

I have had that feeling again that I will be moving again in the next five or so years.  It is a bit disconcerting because I halfway want to get settled once and for all.  Of course, moving also gives me a bit of a thrill thinking of possibilities and what God would lead me to.  I am sure it would be quite an adventure which, in my opinion, is how God intended life to be.

I am applying for a passport so if I ever go on a cruise, I’ll have it.  Also it will help me be prepared if God leads me to another country on a mission trip – I would kind of like to go on one with my friend Dawyn to see what she does and help in any way I could.  If nothing else I could always keep the records or give shots.

July’s Vacation

I’ve been rather stuck on Michigan lately for a place to visit this July instead of the cruise.  I’ve received a travel brochure on Michigan in general with one of those request cards to request more info about the area I’m interested in going.

Right now I’m having a hard time deciding on which area I want to see.  There is the Pictured Rocks area which is on Lake Superior – they have sandstone cliffs that rise over 200 feet in the air, boating, hiking trails, etc.

There is the Great Lakes Shipwreck Museum, a restored lighthouse, Tahquamenon Falls (largest falls between Niagara and the Rockies), and sandy beaches caressed by the turquoise waters that are Superior.

“The three largest Great Lakes – Superior, Huron and Michigan – come together here, rolling against a singularly rugged land.” Advises my brochure.  I wish there was a picture of that but the pictures offered are incredibly beautiful too.

Then there is Isle Royale Island which is in Superior but almost up to the Canadian border.  There are many hiking trails on the island and more wildlife (such as moose) than anywhere else in Michigan.  The island is 45 miles long and only accessible by ferry.  Obviously it is on my list due to Navada Bar’s book “A Superior Death.”  I can’t remember what the other title was that also took place on this island.

Who would not want to see Lake Huron whose shores bustle with shops, ships coming into ports of call, the Old Presque Isle Lighthouse, and Thunder Bay National Maritime Sanctuary.

Actually, I have so much yet to read that I can’t begin to make a decision yet – though I’m leaning toward the Upper Penesula of Michigan.

Father of the Bride

I watched the above movie streamed to my computer via Netflix earlier this evening.  What is it about this movie that always warms my heart? I love it! I love the second one as well – I laugh and cry in them every time.

Steve Martin in these two movies reminds me a smidgen of my brother which makes me wonder how he is doing up there in Canada.  I’m sure he has the love of his “split apart” to keep him toasty warm.  I look forward to seeing them in June.

I guess the movie gives me a sense of nostalgia but also of peace at how simple events like a wedding can bring a family together.  My niece is getting married in a few months…actually will probably have two nieces getting married this year.  Weddings are so wonderful because they represent a fresh new life for the couple saying those wedding vows.  I usually sit there wondering what the future will bring for them – will they be happy? Will their love last the tests of time? I hope so.

Hmmm…wonder if my niece is registered anywhere? I need to check that out.

Vacation

I was hoping to go on that cruise this July but have been kind of rethinking that lately.  There are so many places I would like to visit that cost a tenth of what that cruise would cost.  Yes, Alaska is on the list but not at the top so maybe I will refocus my efforts to a different vacation experience.

My friends really want me to come back down to Florida for a visit and I am leaning in that direction but that could be because I’m cold right now.  I must admit, it would be fun to hang out with them – go kayaking, para-sailing, out on sea-dos and maybe even a bit of sailing/snorkeling.  No doubt we’d hit up a night club or two for karaoke too though I never, ever sing.

But the whole idea of a vacation this year was to go by myself to give me time to think and figure out life.  That makes me think of going out west somewhere or maybe to Tennessee.  I don’t know.  There are so many cool places to go – several are right around the Great Lakes even.  I get travel magazines from Triple A so get to see all kinds of wonderful excursion possibilities.

Last Night’s Storm

Outside the wind had wailed through the frozen land without mercy. Snow sailed across the pavement, racing to the other side in an attempt to win an imaginary regatta. Drifts had quickly banished all traces that plows had gone through several times since the winter storm, on vacation from Canada, graced the states.

The swallows and cardinals that had frittered blissfully around from tree to tree just the other day had vanished leaving me to wonder if they had only been a hallucination brought on by the thawing of my brain. Where did they go? Where do they hide when it is so cold outside?

Between clouds waltzing by I could see the moon looming so big and close I felt like I could reach out just enough to smack that silly smile off its glowing face. I surmised the man in the moon was laughing with delight at the chill that had crept diabolically up the back of my neck, as if winter returning was some cosmic joke.

Tree branches were outlined with layers of snow, as were power lines and roof tops. Right then, before anyone has disturbed the peace of the night, the snow was exquisite. I paused appreciatively before releasing the dogs to scamper forth and bestow upon the snow their paw marks. They both are explorers at heart, always wanting to be the first to forge the route through the snow.

As much as I dislike being cold and hate driving in snow storms – I had to admit that the scene laid out before me made my spirit feel hushed and tranquil. It was picturesque and left me wishing I could somehow be painted into the magnificent scene.

Today

Well, another day is almost done and I have to admit, I haven’t done much today other than sleep. I did watch the movie “Georgia Rule” which I thought was pretty good.

I had a very real dream that I moved to Colorado. Now, one might think that would perk me up – another idea of where I could be headed – but it really doesn’t. Right now I’m really sick of winter – going to a state where there is a longer winter doesn’t do much for my mood.

Yes, I know I would love Colorado – the mountains, hiking, and all the other things I could do out there would make me quite happy. But why move there? I have no reason to. I would guess if God moves me there, He will have a reason so will have to wait to see.

I recently chose 4 random posters of mountains from Allposters on the internet. They arrived the other day – it is so pretty there. I was surprised to see that they were all pictures of the Grand Tetons in Wyoming – the very place my sisters and I were going to visit this past year. I probably recognized them unconsciously. Anyway, the scenery is fanastic – I have to go visit there sometime.

I don’t believe I will be moving out of state anywhere this year so that at least feels better.