Today its about yesterday

We all have those nostalgic days where we wonder what would have been if we had made other choices.  I suppose no one can go through life without wondering and reassessing the choices they made.  Most people could probably come up with a few things they would do differently if they could do it over knowing then what we know now.  Unfortunately, that isn’t the way it works.

Our choices are made by what information is available to us at that time.  We assimilate the data and choose what we hope is the best course of action.  Hind sight is always 20/20 – the future never is.  Ten years from now I will probably look back on this time of my life and be able to pick out some things I could have done differently – though right in the here and now, I am blinded to those options.

Sometimes I wish I could see the “big” picture – that I could see how my life will unfold so I can be prepared.  But really, how boring life would be if we knew exactly what we’d be doing, where we’d be doing it, who we’d be doing it with, and why we’d be doing what we were doing ten, twenty, thirty years from now.  It takes away possibilities and options – it steals hope.

So instead of spending my time today wishing I could change things in the past, I am spending it looking to the future with optimism, enthusiasm, and yes, hope.  I don’t know how it will all unfold – I fear there may be a few heartaches ahead of me but I also know that I will cope with them when they present themselves.  Really, what choice do I have? 

Flowers

This is the only picture I managed to take on my walk today.  Are they daffodils? I don’t know my flowers all that well unfortunately – guess I’ll have to get a flower book to help me identify them better if I’m going to take pictures of them.

The flowers are in the beds under the windows of our apts.  Mine has a bush so I don’t know if I’ll get any flowers though on the other side of the door there appears to be a single plant growing.  My neighbor on the end gets the most sunlight on her beds which is why I think her flowers bloomed first. 

Still no buds on the trees – am anxious for leaves. 

It's great to see some flowers blooming!!

Wednesday

Today has been a “catch up on sleep” day because I haven’t felt like doing much else other than that.  I did a spot of cleaning and cooked a roast for supper but otherwise, I’ve been working on my writing.

Am quite gleeful because I found my manuscript changes which I thought I had lost.  Thankfully I had had the good sense to email them to me at yahoo so it was sitting in there waiting for me.  Took me a few hours to find it but I did.  About made me weep with happiness.

So I’ve been printing it out and reading it so I can work on it some more.  It is very close to being done though then it will have to be edited which will take awhile.  Once the editing is done, the corrections will have to be applied and the whole thing will have to be printed again before it can go to the publishers.  I’m thinking I will let Kinko’s or somewhere like that do the final printing and copies.    Then off to the publishers and literary agents.  Very exciting.

Reading “The Shining” is also stirring up ideas of my own for a “haunting” story so might start on that too.  I don’t know how writers find the time to finish one book if they have so many going.  Stephen King said in his hay-day he would write 3,000 words a day.  In 2001 he said he writes closer to 1800 a day – wonder how many he writes now.

I know I am no where near 1800 a day let alone 3000 but I suppose if I get motivated more I could do more.  Also if I didn’t have interruptions and have to actually work a regular job.

I have no grand illusions here – I don’t expect my books to hit the New York Times Best Seller’s list – but I do hope that they glean a moderate fan base to keep me writing.  Someday – hopefully by the time I’m fifty, I would like to be done working the regular job and be writing full time.

I am slowly marrying the idea of buying an RV so that I can travel and write once I’m retired from the general work force.  It would really be awesome. 

I suppose after a few years I would get sick of it and settle down but at least if I traveled the entire US, I would know where I wanted to settle down to. 

Maybe it is a “pie in the sky” dream but hey, its my dream so as long as it is a coconut cream pie in the sky, I will continue to work towards getting to it. 

Birds

I forgot to mention the birds in my last post. When I got home about 3:30 am, I opened the windows so I could hear the storm better when it came (it never did).

What I did hear were the morning birds chirping away at the sunrise. It reminded me of people getting ready to go to work the way they were chirping and fluttering around in the trees.

Down in Florida we had a Mockingbird and I would sit outside listening to it at night. The birds this morning were not as loud as the mockingbird but I still enjoyed their song.

Night Sky

On my way home tonight while driving north on 965, I saw the brightest light streaking across the sky not too very far off the ground.  It was too low and bright to be a shooting star – it looked like something on fire but then it simply went out.  I could be convinced it was a fire cracker of some proportion but there was no noise associated with it and it looked bigger than a fire cracker would.

I have no idea what it was – it looked big enough to be a small plane but yet it didn’t fall from the sky or hit the ground with a loud thundering so it couldn’t be that either.  I wish I could have gotten a picture of it – I mean, what is flying around at 3:20am anyway?

Oh well, guess it was an anomaly that probably had to do with the cloudless night sky.  I wouldn’t have put it more than a few hundred feet off the ground and it definitely looked like something on fire.  Guess if it doesn’t make the news in awhile than it was nothing – probably nothing anyway because I haven’t heard any fire or ambulance people dispatched and I live close enough to the station that I would have.

Maybe it was one of Mom’s UFO’s.  I guess by definition it was a UFO because it was an “unidentified flying object”…that covers just about everything in the sky some nights. 

Ten Grand

Well, I’ve added all the factors together for the Alaskan cruise with Charles Stanley and figure it would cost about ten grand. If I went by myself, it would cost me roughly nine grand as I’d have to pay double occupancy for my room. That, of course, is with all the excursions I wanted on seaport days – though I’m not sure I’d be able to get all the ones I want due to timing issues.

The ship is gambling and alcohol free for this trip which I think is a good thing. I don’t see any reason to need those things to have a good time but that is me.

The above prices do not count airfare to the ship’s Seattle port or spending money. Nor does it cover the purchase of a new, very nice digital camera. I really couldn’t see going if I didn’t have the camera I wanted – chances are I may never go on an Alaskan cruise again so would want the best pictures possible. Besides, the camera would be good for the Africa tour I hope to go on someday.

Of course, if I were to go I would want to sign up this month so I could start getting in shape for the trip. Some of the excursions are pretty physical but I’d also want to look fantastic in an evening gown. I think I’d need a whole new wardrobe. LOL

So let’s just guesstimate that the entire venture would come to about $15,000. Seems reasonable, doesn’t it?

Beach Dreamin

White dusty sand squishes between my toes as I plop my lounge chair down close to the surf yet just beyond the frothy waves.  Viewing the sea with hopes of seeing a shark fin or maybe a dolphin is more important today then letting the powerful UV rays cook my skin.  Really need the tan but didn’t come here for that purpose today.

Next comes the umbrella base which has to be put down into the sand at an angle so the umbrella will shelter me from the sun.  It is a bright greenish blue umbrella meant to blend into the colors of the sea – beach camouflage.

I slip off my shorts and tank top to reveal the Kmart special of the day, a solid black one piece with brown trim.  It isn’t an attention riveting swimming suit, but then, neither is the body wearing it so what does it matter?

Slouching comfortably in the chair, I pop the cork on a bottle of champagne that I brought to commemorate this auspicious occasion.  As no glass is allowed on the beach, I pour the sparkling liquid into a plastic wine glass I grabbed from home at the last moment.

The mega-strawberries I picked up on the way to the beach are chilled ever so slightly from the ice in the chest I also brought.  They are dripping with sweet as I bite into one before sipping on the glass of champagne.  What a delicious treat that goes perfectly with the day.

Overhead a few seagulls are calling out to the fish, trying to entice them to come just a little bit closer to the surface for a chat.  Almost out to the buoy, a lone pelican rests from his dive bombing attacks on the water’s surface.  He cocks his head every now and then as if he can hear something only Pelecanidae are privy to.

Mesmerized I watch the tide ebb and flow, gently caressing the sand as only a long time lover can.  Shells rush up to have their 15 minutes of fame in the sun before the tide carries them back out.  Normally, people would be all about trying to snatch the prettiest ones from the ocean’s everlasting grasp but not today.  Today I am alone on the beach.

Today isn’t a day for photos of the vast beauty before me for I won’t need them to remind of this occasion ~ it will stay with me forever.  As I bit into another strawberry and sip another gulp of champagne, I marvel at how long it took me to get to this place.  Why didn’t I believe in myself a long time ago?

Looking down at the book in my bag, I smile.  It has a nice cover with a happy little, non-descript scene painted in muted watercolor hues.  What does catch my eye is the name of the author – my name – splashed across the front with crisp authority.  Sighing contentedly, I survey my little, private section of the beach that stretches right up to the stairs of my newly purchased beach house.

What a beautiful, beach dreamin dream that is.

It occurs to me

It occurs to me, as I sit here watching the sun rise through my monitors, that we are quickly approaching the end of summer here in Iowa.  Next month is September…that is when the weather starts cooling off and leaves start to change colors.

After September is October…we’ve had snow before in October but that is rare.  By Halloween, though, the trees will be bare and people will be raking the leaves into piles to give their yards a dramatic effect for the trick or treaters.  It will get windy and cold in October.

November will give probably give us snow…I have seen many Novembers with no snow at all but I have a feeling that won’t happen this year.  Thanksgiving will see us all wearing coats, hats and gloves to protect us from the cold.

December will deliver snow almost for sure…again, I have seen some without but I don’t think that will be the case this year.  By Christmas we will probably have a few inches on the ground good for making snow forts, snowmen, and having snowball fights.  Everything will look so pretty with the Christmas lights.  On days when I get off at 7am – I will get to see trees encased in ice…very beautiful.

Yep…we are on the downhill slide for this year…just amazing how fast time is flying up here!

Father of Slain Family Struggles

A year ago, Dr. William Petit had a thriving medical practice. He lived in a comfortable colonial house adorned with flower gardens in an upscale Connecticut suburb with his wife and two daughters admired for their charitable works.

Thus begins the article I read regarding this man who thought he had the world all figured out and everything going the way he wanted it in life.  As I’ve said a hundred times, things can change in a heartbeat, can’t they?

Two men broke into this man’s house during the night.  In search of money, the two previously convicted criminals severely beat Petit and his wife.  Not finding what they wanted in the house, the criminals took Mrs. Petit to the ATM so she could withdrawal thousands of dollars for them.  Then they strangled her.

Petit’s children, ages 17 and 11, were gagged and bound to their beds.  The men were later charged with sexual assault but the article doesn’t tell which of the three females was raped – maybe they all were.  In an effort to conceal their crime, the subjects started the house on fire as they left the scene.  Petit, severely injured, made it out of the house but the two girls died of smoke inhalation before they could be rescued.

Now, one year later, Dr. Petit struggles daily with the events that tore his family away from him.  Petit moved in with his parents and had what was left of the house torn down and carved a big heart into the lawn.  His parents say he struggles every day to find a purpose to living a life that doesn’t include his family.

Petit works with the charities his wife and daughter were involved with to feel a connection with them and to keep busy.  He tries to find solace with friends and frequents a therapist.

I feel like contacting this man to give him my sympathies.  The attack at his home lasted hours…hours he had to witness the destruction of his family and endure physical abuse.  Why? Because some criminals thought his house looked like a good one to rob.

Once again I feel I must lament on how life is so very fragile and we all must take stock of it every day.  Not only how our lives are going, but how our lives are affecting others around us.  Do we help or hinder? Do we uplift or tear down? Do we smile or frown? Are we quick to do what is right, or do we procrastinate?

I don’t know about everyone else but I would like my life to mean something and I think the only way that can happen is in service to others and our planet.  Let us all say a prayer for those people who are hurting in this world and to give thanks for all that we have.

Cops and Coffee

I was reading this story about a police officer in Daytona Beach, Florida who was fired after going into the same Starbucks up to six times a night demanding free coffee. He would cut in front of other customers and threaten employees if they failed to produce his coffee.

The man was a 15 year veteran of the police force which makes a person wonder what other freebies he has demanded over the years. At one point, he even told employees that if they didn’t comply in giving him free coffee then response time by the police department would be adversely affected should they ever have an emergency.

Eventually the Starbuck’s employees had reached their breaking limit and reported the obnoxious officer to authorities. When accused, the officer demanded he be given a polygraph test to refute the charges. Well, he failed the test miserably and was then fired from the police force.

This officer was a Lt Major…a high enough ranking position that he absolutely should have known better. Besides, as I said, if he was this adamant about coffee…what else has he been up to all these years?