Live Healthy again

At work we have a contest going to see which teams can take the most steps in a six week period.  We started this past Thursday and go until the end of October.  So far I have done quite well because I’ve been on vacation which involved a lot of hiking.  I am hoping to do excellent with this challenge – walking 3 to 4 miles per exercise time plus regular walking throughout day.  My goal is to lose all my weight by my next birthday – this must be done with weights as well as the walking but I think I can do it.

I’m going to join the gym at the new Wellness center this coming month.  I am giving up my core membership as it costs me too much for no more than I use it.  I have too many other things the money needs to go for plus the wellness center has a pool and a jogging track.  I must get into shape – I just must.

I’ve updated my exercise chart for the new challenge and beyond – I hope I can stay with it this time.  I’m going to put up a dry-erase board so I can get back from exercising and record my minutes/miles immediately without having to boot up my computer first.  I tend to put off the recording part and then can’t remember what the results were.  Plus I can add motivational stuff to the board and will, no doubt, use it the rest of the year as well to remind myself of those little things I so often forget.

I have to say, I haven’t felt well at all since getting home from vacation.  Besides being exhausted, I’m short of breath and feel so weak.  I don’t know if it is the dramatic change in the altitude or if my system is rebelling against all the stuff I did this past week – eating and exercising wise.

I’m contemplating joining Weight Watchers online – haven’t decided yet on that one.  It is rather expensive for no more than it does.

🙂

Hmmm…

So I got the book posted to Barnes and Nobel though it won’t actually show up for a few days yet.  After I got it all uploaded, I decided to check B&N to see if there were similar titles on the site.  I suppose this is something I should have done prior to uploading the book because there were about nine other books with the same title.  If I had known, I would have changed the title but they won’t let me do that now.  Makes me mad.

I don’t expect the book to do that well anyway – it is my first pathetic attempt.  Really, I think I’ll be happy to be able to have it on my Nook – who cares if no one else likes it?

The next several stories are better – which only makes sense as the last one was written over ten years ago.  I would hope I have improved in a decade of writing.  I guess we shall see.

Just Breathe

I’ve been telling myself this a lot today.  I have struggled, successfully mind you, to hold my temper in check.  There were several times it was touch and go.  Once I can’t vent with a temper tantrum, I want to cry instead because all that excess adrenaline has to get out of my system somehow.  So while I’m still terribly annoyed, I’m also very sad and oppressed.

I need my vacation. I seriously need to get away from here for a while.  I haven’t had one since 2007 and I hardly count that as it was a trip home to see my son.  Really need to get away.  I know I am depressed and blue but part of that is work too.  Unfortunately, the dogs get it taken out on them the most because they want to go frolicking through the longer trails and I don’t feel like taking them.  It doesn’t help that humidity levels are in the 90%.

Hate feeling like this.

Allergies

My allergies are killing me today and I’m so sick of it I could scream.  Actually, I could go back to bed.  But I can’t go back to bed because my bed is just as bad as the rest of the place.

Besides, I have stuff I have to do today – like clean.  Right now at this second in time, I hate everything.

What?

I am in a rotten mood.  Seriously in a rotten mood.  I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.  Just want to scream.  Maybe I’ll take a nap.

I am broke – literally – have a vacation to CO that I absolutely can’t afford but also absolutely can’t cancel.  As everyone does, I hate being broke.  I want to have money to play and do whatever I want.

I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe, if I get a couple of my books on the B&N site then I might make a couple extra hundred or so which would help out.  I can’t hope for more – I know the books aren’t that great but I’d like to give it a try.

Fuck

I am in a horrid mood today – absolutely horrid.  I have overdrawn my bank by $700 and it isn’t even the 15th yet.  I know I will be fine, I always am, but it is the idea of it.  I am sick to death of being broke – of never getting the things I want or want my son to have.  I’M SICK OF IT!!!

Nothing seems fair and while I know that is me whining, I can’t help it.  I know I should try to get my stories published – it doesn’t cost anything to try and I need to do that for my own peace of mind.    Even if I only get a couple hundred dollars – it is more than I have now.  I know that the places would take a large percent of what I get but still – it would be something.

Really should work more OT but can barely stand it now – how can I work more??? I have a headache almost all the time and I feel like I never have time to do anything.  It makes me nuts.  Damn.